


Teacher!Jon One(?)shot

by I_dunno



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Jon smites Nazis and says trans rights, Teacher Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Trans Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-14 03:40:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29039526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_dunno/pseuds/I_dunno
Summary: My take on teacher!Jon because I fucking live teacher!Jon.
Relationships: Jonathan Sims/Martin Blackwood
Comments: 14
Kudos: 75





	Teacher!Jon One(?)shot

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LiterateSquirrel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LiterateSquirrel/gifts).



“Whoah. Whattaya think his deal is?” Trent whispered to Mark. Mark shrugged as they looked at their new history teacher.

“Fire?” Mark guessed, looking at the myriad scars across their new teacher.

“Hello everyone.” he said, putting down his bag. “I’m Mr. Sims, and I’m going to be covering for Mr. DeSantos until he gets back. Now, according to his notes, you all were finishing your unit on the Renaissance, so- yes, Kat?”

“What happened to Mr. DeSantos?”

“Car crash, with a drunk driver. The doctors aren’t sure how long his recovery will take, so I may very well be your teacher for the rest of the year. Now as I was saying, we’ll start with-” he sighed “Yes Mark?”

“How’d you know Kat’s name? You haven’t even taken attendance yet.”

Mr. Sims looked surprised for a brief moment before saying “Mr. DeSantos left a seating chart. With troublemakers labelled.” he added, causing the class to giggle and glance at whoever each student assumed that referred to. “Now, if you’ll open your books to page-”

“You still haven’t taken attendance.” Mark interrupted. Mr. Sims glared at him. Trent noted that Sims easily had the most intimidating glare he had ever seen, despite being 5’5” and wearing a sweater vest. Must be the scars.

“None of you are missing. Now let’s get to work. On page-”

“But did you submit that to the office? The secretaries get pissy if you don’t do the thing on time. Mr. DeSantos always has us remind him.”

Mr. Sims was silent for a moment before grumbling and turning to his computer to submit the attendance form. “...Thank you for the reminder. Anna, put your phone away. Now, on page 47…”

\---

“So what did you think of the new teacher?” Mark asked as Trent sat down at their usual spot in the lunch room.

“He’s probably the weirdest teacher I’ve ever had, and I’m still pretty sure Ms. Evans killed her husband. Which just makes it all the more disappointing that he’s so strict.”

“Weirder than Evans? I know the scars are a lot, but come one.”

“It’s not just the scars, although that is a part of it.” Trent replied, shooting a smile at Kat as she sat down next to him and 

“We talking about Sims?” she asked.

“Yup. Like I said, not just the scars, but he seems way too intense for a twink in his early-thirties.”

“What makes you say twink?” Cody asked as he and Amelia, the last members of their lunch group sat down. “Also please never call our history teacher a twink again.”

“I call ‘em like I see ‘em!” Trent said defensively. “And to answer your question, short, long hair, sat backwards in his chair during the second half of his lecture.”

“A convincing argument. But have you ever seen a twink with that many scars?” Kat asked.

“So he’s a rough soft boi.” Amelia shrugged. “No big deal.”

“I still wanna know how he got those scars. They’re like, all over half his face. And one of his hands looked fucked up too.” Mark said.

“Actually, I believe the proper medical term for his hand is ‘janky as hell’, but I see your point.” Cody said.

“Yeah, there’s something up with him. Like, if it was just the dot scars or just the janky hand or just the hyper-intensity it would be fine, but add it all up and it’s weird as hell.” Amelia added.

“Well then. Ladies, gentlemen, Mark, (“Hey!”) we seem to have a new mission. Get to know Mr. Sims, whether he likes it or not.” Trent said with a grin.

\---

“Okay class, let’s start with the handout you did as homework yesterday. Can someone tell me- yes Mark, I submitted attendance- can someone tell me what they- what is it Mark?” 

“When are you gonna tell us about yourself?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, teachers usually love to talk about themselves. Mr. DeSantos had a whole slideshow on the first day about his kids and his hobbies and stuff. But you kinda skipped all that.”

Mr. Sims sighed. “Very well. I’m from England, if the accent didn’t give it away. I moved here with my boyfriend for… a fresh start.”

“Ayy, Mr. Sims says gay rights!” cheered Kat.

“I… yes, I suppose I do. Now, back to the homework-”

“What’s your boyfriend like?” Mark interrupted again.

“He’s delightful. But if you don’t mind, we do have a fair bit more to cover before the test next week, so-”

“Can we ask more get to know you questions if we do well on the test?” Mark asked.

“If I say yes will you stop interrupting me?” Mr. Sims sighed wearily. Mark nodded enthusiastically. “Very well. If the class average is above an 80%, you all get to ask me one personal question. Though I maintain the right to refuse it if it’s not the sort of thing a student should ask their teacher.” he added sharply.

\---

“Jon, are you really weaponizing your spookiness to encourage them to study?” Martin asked incredulously over dinner that night.

“I wouldn’t call it  _ weaponizing _ . And you know I hate the word spooky. I just… if they’re curious, I might as well use that to motivate them to study.” Jon replied with a grin.

“You  _ are _ ! And I bet if they do get to ask questions you’ll be all mysterious and cagey.” Martin accused.

“I mean, I can’t exactly tell them about how most of my scars come from being marked for a world-ending ritual by a two hundred year old magical voyeur. The important thing is that I get through the rest of the unit without Mark wasting half the class every day. And maybe I get some of them to do a little extra studying. It’s for a good cause, Martin.”

“You truly are a saint.” Martin said dryly.

\---

“Ugh, how the hell are we gonna get a class average of 80? I’m gonna be lucky if I scrape a 65.” Mark whined as he flopped back on his bed, exhausted from the group’s studying session.

“You’ll be fine.” Kat said with an eye roll. “Hopefully everyone else is as curious about the scars as we are.”

“Yeah, speaking of which, did you notice the one on his neck?” Amelia asked.

“Yeah, looks like someone tried to cut his throat.” Trent said.

“Okay everyone, theories on his scars! My guess is, throat is from getting mugged, hand is some burn from a part time job at a fast food joint, and the circles are actually just a skin condition.” Cody said.

“Interesting. I’m gonna say, neck scar is from an ex-partner, hand scar is a birth defect, and the circles are just acne scars.” Kat posited.

“Alright, I’ll say… neck is from some kinky choking gone wrong, hand and circles are from some kinky waxplay gone wrong.” Mark said.

“I hate you so much Mark. That’s worse than calling him a twink.” Amelia said, shaking her head. “Throat is some dumb thing as a kid, hand is some dumb thing as a teen, circles are some dumb thing as an adult.”

“Damn, he’s not even that clumsy.” Trent replied. “I honestly have no idea. But I will say I’m pretty sure Mark is wrong.”

“Wow, y’all just don’t think Sims is a kinkster, do you?” Mark sighed.

“More like we’re going to assume he isn’t so that we can continue to be able to look him in the eye.” Kat said with an eye roll.

\---

“Oh Christ.” winced Trent as he and Mark got off the bus.

“What?” asked Mark, before following Trent’s gaze. “Oh come on, I think Sims is actually rocking that look.”

“No, I mean, he is, but dude. He’s a tiny Indian man in Texas. And we’re small town Texas, not Austin. If being foreign doesn’t get him beat up, wearing a skirt definitely will.”

“I’m not worried.” Mark shrugged. “Look at all the scars, I think he’s probably tougher than anything this town’s bigots can throw at him.”

“This town’s bigots have guns, Mark. And I thought you said his scars came from kinks gone wrong.”

“That’s what you get for taking me seriously.” Mark said with a grin. “All the good options were taken so I had to go for laughs.”

“You’re ridiculous.” Trent said with a fond smile as he bumped his shoulder against Mark’s.

\---

“Well, I’m happy to say that the class average was 87%, so as promised, everyone gets a question. Should Mark go first or last?” Mr. Sims asked with a smirk. The class laughed at their teacher’s good-natured teasing before deciding to let Mark ask first.

“How did you get those scars?”

The class went silent. For a moment, everyone thought Mr. Sims would decide not to answer before he sighed and said “Which one?”

“Uhh… the circles?” Mark said, surprised he’d gotten this far.

“Worms.” Mr. Sims said, pausing for the class to react (mostly with disgust and disbelief) “We had an infestation of an… unclassified parasite at my old job back in England. Amelia?”

“What about your hand?”

“Uh… burn. Trent?”

“Neck?”

“A friend- former friend. Not because of the stabbing- there was… let’s just say we had a very complicated relationship that at one point involved her trying to kill me. At a few points, actually. Anyway, Kat?”

“Where did you work that had unclassified parasites?”

“The Magnus Institute, London. Er- in London. I was the- an archivist. Cody?”

“How’d you go from being an archivist in London to a history teacher in Texas?”

“Well, my job was rather stressful, as I’m sure you can imagine. So by the time we were able to leave, Martin and I were more than ready for a change of scenery. Martin being my boyfriend. John?”

Trent only half listened as the rest of the class asked much more boring questions (What’s your favorite color? Do you have any pets? Why are you wearing a skirt? Where’d you get it?). He was recording this little Q&A session on his phone anyways. Those first few answers had only raised more questions. It sounded like there was more to the “unclassified parasites” than he was telling. And why was he so cagey about his hand? And what kind of friend tries to kill you? What the hell was the Magnus Institute?

\---

**The Bully Mark Club**

The Trentinator: Guys something weird happened

A Literal Cat: What?

The Trentinator: So you know how I recorded Sims taking questions?

Earhart: Yeah?

The Trentinator: The recording is all static

chaos demon: hmm

Earhart: oh no

Earhart: Mark hmms are never good

chaos demon: excuse u mark hmms are always good

chaos demon: anyway i looked up that magnus institute place he mentioned

chaos demon: and guess what

Comrade Cody: What?

chaos demon: it’s a literal PARANORMAL RESEARCH INSTITUTE!!!

A Literal Cat: Deadass?

chaos demon: DEADASS!

The Trentinator: Yeah I just googled it he’s not kidding

chaos demon: BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE!!!

Comrade Cody: caps dude

chaos demon: sorry, but this needs caps! A few years ago there were a couple of murder investigations there, and guess who was a top suspect in both cases!

Earhart: NO WAY

chaos demon: JONATHAN FUCKING SIMS, BABY

Comrade Cody: Okay damn that was worth the caps

A Literal Cat: Jesus, are we like, safe? 

chaos demon: yeah turns out it was Sims’ boss lol

Comrade Cody: Okay good

chaos demon: who apparently broke out of jail

The Trentinator: Say sike right now

chaos demon: google “Elias Bouchard prison escape”

A Literal Cat: jfc

chaos demon: so basically our history teacher was framed for murder by his boss at a paranormal research center, got mauled by worms, burned by s o m e t h i n g, stabbed by a friend, and is Gay™

The Trentinator: Definitely more interesting than Ms. Evans

Earhart: Okay, thought:

chaos demon: its spelled thot, but yes?

Earhart: shut up Mark. Anyways, so he worked at a paranormal research institute, had a bunch of weird shit happen to him, and now he won’t record on Trent’s phone. Do you think… it’s because of something… you know?

Comrade Cody: Are you saying you think Trent’s recording got messed up because our history teacher is supernatural?

Earhart: It sounds stupid when you say it like that… but yes.

chaos demon: lol ill buy it

The Trentinator: I can see where you’re coming from but it’s probably just my phone being weird

A Literal Cat: I’m not totally sold, but it does make some sense.

Comrade Cody: So that’s 2 for, 2 against, and 1 maybe. I’ll take a look at Trent’s phone tomorrow and see if I can figure out what happened.

The Trentinator: Supernatural question aside, what do we do?

chaos demon: anybody doing anything in advisory tmrw?

The Trentinator: You son of a bitch, I’m in.

A Literal Cat: I’m game

Earhart: ok

Comrade Cody: let’s do this

chaos demon: E X C E L L E N T

chaos demon: also

**chaos demon changed their name to Detective Mark**

Earhart: …

Comrade Cody: -_-

**The Trentinator changed Detective Mark’s name to Dorktective Mark**

The Trentinator: There we go >:D

Dorktective Mark: :(

Dorktective Mark: ur not wrong, but still, :(

\---

“Hey, Mr. Sims, do you have a moment?”

Jon sighed, having been prepared for this moment since he Knew last night that the five kids he had mentally dubbed the Scooby Gang had googled him. He was just glad the murder accusations blotted out any mention of The Mechs.

“Yes Trent-and-friends?”

“We were wondering, um… well, there isn’t any way to put this delicately, but… you didn’t do those murders you were accused of, right?”

Jon chuckled. “No, I did not commit any of the murders I was accused of.” he said. “I know the American school system is a bit of a mess, but I don’t think they’d hire a murderer.”

“They wouldn’t hire a  _ convicted  _ murderer.” Mark countered. “We’re asking if you actually killed them and just got away with it.”

“Well like I said, I did not commit either of the crimes I was accused of.”

“Then why’d you run away from the cops when they were after you for that unidentified one? And I notice that you’re not actually saying you haven’t committed a murder.” challenged Amelia.

Jon sighed again. “I ran after Leitner died because I knew it looked bad and I could not prove my innocence, so I went on the lam until I could prove such. There were some very complicated circumstances at the time. And I will here declare that I have never killed a human being.”

“Hmm, alright. One more question then.” Mark said, with a glint in his eyes.

“Oh dear.” Jon said, monotone, earning quiet laughter from Mark’s friends.

“Do you know why Trent’s phone can’t record audio of you?”

Jon went very still. He hadn’t realized he’d been recorded. Or at least, that they’d attempted to record him. Shit, he’d frozen up for too long for them to believe him if he says no. Fuck it.

“Yes. But that’s a conversation for another time, I think. The bell’s about to ring.” The Scooby Gang was speechless as Jon gently urged them out the door and returned to his grading. God, Mark’s handwriting was atrocious. 

\---

**The Bully Mark Club**

Dorktective Mark: HOLY SHIT GUYS

A Literal Cat: Yup I’m officially on board the Spooky Sims train.

Comrade Cody: I mean, he could just be pulling our leg…

Earhart: Did you see how he froze? That was a genuine reaction.

Comrade Cody: That doesn’t mean he’s Spooky or whatever. Maybe he swallowed a magnet or something

The Trentinator: Swallowed a magnet? He’s not a toddler dude XD

Dorktective Mark: at this point Occam’s Razor says our history teacher paranormally disrupts audio recording of himself. theres a sentence i never though id type

Comrade Cody: ...I hate to say it but you’re right. Fuck.

Dorktective Mark: Yep… what a world

\---

**The Bully Mark Club**

Comrade Cody: Hey guys I’m gonna be staying after history to talk to Sims, it’s not about Spookiness though so don’t wait up

Earhart: It’s alright, I don’t mind :)

Comrade Cody: It’s actually kind of a personal situation so I’d appreciate it if you guys didn’t hang around…

Earhart: Oh… okay. *hugs*

Comrade Cody: *hugs*

\---

**Earhart → Comrade Cody**

Earhart: You know whatever it is we’re here for you, right?

Comrade Cody: I know. I’ll tell you guys about it later. I just want to talk to Mr Sims about it first.

Earhart: ...Okay. I just want you to know we’re your friends and we care about you.

Comrade Cody: Thanks Amelia <3 

Earhart: <3

\---

“Yes Cody?” Mr. Sims said as his students filed out. Amelia shot the two of them a concerned look as she left, but didn’t try to interfere.

“Um, so there’s this thing I want to talk to you about. But it’s kind of awkward and… I dunno, it’s just, um, you’ll probably see where I’m going with this in a sec, but ah…” Cody glanced around the room, making sure it was empty. “How familiar are you with transgender issues?”

Mr. Sims stared blankly Cody for a few seconds. Cody gulped, sure he had made a huge mistake. “You do know I’m trans, right?”

“Ohthankgod!” Cody exhaled. “I knew you were gay but I know some gay people can still be transphobic and this is Texas and I’m not out to anyone and I just- ugh sorry for rambling.”

“It’s okay! Believe me, I know how hard this conversation can be, especially the first time. So I take it you’re trans, then? Do you have a name and pronouns picked out?”

“Um, yeah… Chloe, she/her.” she said.

“Well Chloe, I’m honored to be the first person you’re out to. Wait, not even your friends?” Mr. Sims asked.

“No, not yet. That’s actually what I wanted to ask you about. I’m kind of nervous- really nervous, actually. I was thinking maybe I’d text it to them so I can plan out what I’m gonna say and I won’t trip over my words. I just… I dunno, maybe this is stupid, but I thought that since you like, can’t break up with people over text, or at least you’re not supposed to, you can’t come out over text either?”

Mr. Sims laughed gently. “I don’t think there’s any set rules for how to come out. If you want to do it by text, go ahead. Now the bell’s about to ring, I’ll write you a pass to your next class, but I’ll be here after school if you want to talk about it more then. I’ll give you my number too, in case you have any urgent trans questions. Just please don’t give it to your friends, I would never get a moment’s rest.”

“Okay. Thanks Mr. Sims!”

“Any time, Chloe.”

\---

**The Bully Mark Club**

Dorktective Mark: lol cody u been typing for like ten minutes now did u fall asleep on ur phone or smthg?

Comrade Cody: shut up Mark this is hard

Comrade Cody: Okay so fuck it I’m just gonna keep it short and sweet. I’m transgender and would prefer to be called Chloe and referred to with she/her pronouns and I’m gonna hit send now before i lose my nerve

**Dorktective Mark changed Comrade Cody’s name to Comrade Chloe**

Comrade Chloe: Thanks Mark <3

Earhart: Chloe I can’t speak for anyone else but this changes nothing for me other than what I call you, you’re still my friend and you’re still amazing <3

A Literal Cat: ^^^

Comrade Chloe: gonna disagree on the amazing bit but thank you both <3

The Trentinator: What everyone else said. We’re Texans, not transphobes, and you’re still our friend

Comrade Chloe: You guys are the best

\---

**Earhart → Comrade Chloe**

Earhart: Is this what you stayed behind to talk to Sims about?

Comrade Chloe: Yeah, sorry :/

Earhart: Don’t apologize honey! I’m just honored to be someone you trust to come out to <3

Comrade Chloe: Thank you so much. You being supportive means the world to me.

Earhart: I am gonna hug the shit out of you next time I see you, fair warning.

Comrade Chloe: Oh no, whatever shall I do? I’m looking forward to it <3

\---

**A Literal Cat → Earhart**

A Literal Cat: So do you still have a crush on Chloe now that Chloe’s Chloe?

Earhart: Shut uuuuuuuuuuup but yes XD

Earhart: Helluva way to realize you’re bi

Earhart: Though now that I think about it that does explain quite a few things… o.0

A Literal Cat: So when are you gonna tell her?

Earhart: Idkkkkkkkkkk shut uppppppppp

A Literal Cat: No :3

Earhart: fuck you

A Literal Cat: Fuck Chloe

Earhart ADLFHAPOVNAPORVBNARVHND SHUT

\---

**Chloe --- > Unknown Number**

Chloe: It went well! Thanks for your help Mr. Sims!

Unknown Number: Don’t mention it. Do you want me to call you Chloe in class or are you not coming out to the wider world yet?

Chloe: Uh, still Cody in class… my parents aren’t exactly supportive of LGBTQ folks so I don’t know when I’ll be out to everybody.

Unknown Number: I’m sorry to hear that Chloe. Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help, okay?

Chloe: Will do. Thank you so much Mr. Sims.

Unknown Number: Of course! I’m glad I’m able to be a… supportive adult figure? I’m just trying to be the sort of person I wish I’d had at your age.

Chloe: Well you’re definitely a good Supportive Adult Figure :)

Chloe: Also is the reason I can’t save you as a contact related to why you can’t be recorded?

Unknown Number: Yes, probably. 

Unknown Number: Tell you what, bring the Scooby Gang by after school tomorrow and I’ll explain. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you if you think I’m crazy.

Chloe: Okay!!! Deal!!!

\---

**The Bully Mark Club**

**Comrade Chloe changed the chat name to Scooby Gang**

A Literal Cat: A. Why? B. We can still bully Mark though, right?

**Comrade Chloe sent a screenshot**

Comrade Chloe: And as for B, of course.

Dorktective Mark: I’m not even gonna comment on B because HOLY SHIT HE’S ACTUALLY GONNA TELL US ABOUT THE SPOOKY

The Trentinator: :0 this is huge

Earhart: ^^^

Dorktective Mark: tomorrow afternoon cannot come fast enough

A Literal Cat: Agreed

\---

“Come in!” Jon called as soon as he heard the knock on his door that afternoon. Five teens who were clearly struggling to contain their excitement walked in. “So, why I can’t be digitally recorded. Basically, I am an avatar of an entity known as The Eye, The Beholding, or The Ceaseless Watcher, which feeds on the fear of being watched and vulnerable. One of the side effects of this is that I have a… difficult relationship with technology. So that’s why I can’t be recorded and my number can’t be saved. Now, do you have questions or do you just not believe me?”

“How did you become an avatar of ‘The Eye’, and what does that mean?” asked Amelia, pulling out a notebook.

“Sure, now you take notes.” Jon grumbled. “I was tricked into becoming an avatar by my boss during my time at the Magnus Institute. As for what it means, there are a number of… effects. As the Archivist at the Magnus Institute I had to make audio recordings of statements concerning the paranormal. Legitimate statements would not record digitally, so I used an analog tape recorder. This feeds The Eye, and as its avatar, I have a physical dependency on feeding The Eye. I do this through reading statements, though most other avatars are much more… malicious, in how they feed their masters. However, I also can Know things. At first I couldn’t control it, but now I can Know just about anything I want to, with a few exceptions.”

“What are the exceptions? And what do you mean, other avatars?”

“I’ll answer the second question first, to help explain the first. The Eye is an aspect of a far greater entity that feeds on fear in general. Traditionally, the fears are split into 14 categories, though they get somewhat mushy at the edges. I heard it described to me like a colour wheel of fear. There is The Eye, my patron, the fear of being watched and having your secrets revealed. There is The Lonely, which is fear of being isolated, alone, and unloved. The Web covers fear of being used or manipulated, losing control, and spiders. The Stranger is the fear of the uncanny and the not-quite-human, like mannequins and clowns. The Desolation is the fear of pain, loss, and fire. The Spiral is the fear of not knowing what is real. The Slaughter is the fear of violence, brutality, and war. The Vast is the fear of falling, heights, and wide open spaces. The Buried is pretty much the opposite, the fear of being buried and choking or drowning, though it also sometimes manifests as being mentally buried. Let’s see, there’s The Hunt, which is the fear of being prey. The Dark is, well, fear of the dark and the unknown. The Corruption is the fear of filth, rot, and decay. The Flesh is… body horror, basically. The fear of the reality that you are meat. And finally The End is the fear of death.”

Jon paused to let Amelia catch up with her note-taking. “Now as for how this relates to the exceptions, a few of the fears are somewhat in opposition to each other, like The Buried and The Vast. So certain areas affected by a fear that doesn’t like being Seen or Known are hard to see into. Generally, The Dark is the hardest for The Eye to See into, but it also has trouble with The Spiral and The Stranger, as well as The Web and The Lonely sometimes.”

“So do you know any other avatars?” asked Chloe.

“Yes, my friend Daisy back in England is an avatar of The Hunt. One of my exes is sort of an avatar of The End. And I know a couple of people who came very close to it, Melanie nearly got taken by The Slaughter and Martin by The Lonely. And I’ve encountered other avatars, but I think those four are the only ones who wouldn’t try to kill me on sight. Or who I wouldn’t try to kill on sight.”

“Wait, I thought you don’t kill people!” exclaimed Mark.

“No, I said I have not killed any human beings. Avatars are not human.”

“Wait, so who- or what- have you killed?” asked Trent.

“Well, let’s see. I helped Tim blow up an avatar of the Stranger. Poor Tim. But the only avatars I’ve killed whose death stuck was Peter Lukas, avatar of The Lonely, and Jonah Magnus, avatar of The Eye and my evil body-hopping boss.”

“Okay, not even gonna get into the body-hopping bit, why’d you kill them?” asked Kat.

“Well, I killed Magnus because he’d ended the world and I went to a LOT of trouble to fix it and I didn’t trust him not to do it again. And I killed Lukas because he was being mean to Martin. He was also trying to kill me, but honestly most of the supernatural community of England has tried to off me at some point.”

“Ended the world?” asked Kat dubiously.

“Like I said, I fixed it. Which might sound like bragging, but the world wouldn’t have ended in the first place if I had been just a bit smarter, so I figure it evens out.”

“I feel like I would remember the world ending.” Chloe said dryly.

“Be glad my fix was rewinding time, not just setting things back. I could Know what happened to you in that timeline… shit, I already did… and no I won’t tell you. God, that’s awful.”

“Come on, tell us, we can take it!” Mark pleaded.

“No. It’s horrible, it’s personal, and knowing won’t do any of you any good. Chloe was tormented by The Eye, Trent by The Flesh, Kat by The Web, Mark by The Stranger, and Amelia by The Buried. If I tell you any more you will have nightmares for the rest of your life, if not from the knowledge itself, then because you were told it by an avatar of The Eye.”

“Fine, fine. So where’s the nearest avatar?” Mark asked.

Jon’s eyes flashed neon green for a moment. “Drew Doyle. He’s buried 37 kilometers North-West of here. He’s an avatar of the Buried, but he’s been… dormant, since the Dust Bowl ended. He choked people with dust and mud. There’s also a Slaughter avatar, Vik Lewis, leading neo-Nazi militia to the East. But he’s being Hunted right now, he’ll be dead within the month. Anyways, I have a staff meeting in a few minutes, but it was nice to talk to you all about this. I pray none of you ever have a genuine encounter with any aspect of the supernatural, but if you do, Chloe has my number.”

“Why does Chloe get your number but not us?” whined Mark.

“Trans solidarity, professionalism, and my desire for occasional moments of peace and quiet. Now if you’ll excuse me, I really can’t be late for this meeting.”

\---

“Attention all Jefferson High School staff and students: we are going into full lockdown. I repeat, we are going into full lockdown. This is not a drill.”

“Okay everyone, you know the drill.” Jon said, watching his students huddle in the corner before he turned away and Looked at what the problem was. “Motherfucker.” he said softly, drawing stares from the class, but from five students in particular. “Right, close your eyes everyone. You might not like what you’ll see otherwise.”

“What are you going to do?” Chloe asked hesitantly.

Jon closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them they were a solid neon green. “I’m going to See to the issue.” he said. Then he closed his eyes again. And then opened  _ all _ his eyes. 

He Saw. He Saw Vik Lewis walking through the front doors of the school. He Saw the secretary cowering beneath her desk. He Saw Lewis freeze as he felt an otherworldly gaze upon him. He Saw the Hunters racing towards the school, knowing they would not be able to get there in time. He Saw Lewis begin to shake as he desperately fought to resist the Knowledge and to hide himself from Jon’s Sight. He Saw some of his students scream as they failed to heed his warning. He Saw Lewis collapse to the ground as the Knowledge poured into his mind, pushing out everything except the Fear and the Pain. He Saw himself, covered in green, unblinking eyes, channeling the power of The Ceaseless Watcher as he Stared at the other avatar with a cold fury.

Then the eyes closed and Jon collapsed to the floor.

\---

Jon woke up and Knew he was in room 114 of the Peter Morgan Medical Center. He was about to Know more when he heard an all too familiar voice.

“Hello Archivist! Long time no see!”

“Helen.” Jon groaned. “What are you doing here?” 

“Well, I see you’re happy as ever to see me.”

“Are you surprised? I know what you are. Last time we interacted we tried to kill each other. And I succeeded.”

“Yes, temporarily. You’re lucky it didn’t stick, though, those Hunters didn’t particularly care whether they killed Lewis or another avatar.”

“You saved me?” Jon asked suspiciously.

“Yup! Even messed with some memories so that you’ll have no trouble continuing to teach. Everyone just thinks Lewis got there a few minutes later and the cops nabbed him before he could shoot anyone. Everyone except the ones you told, anyways.”

“ **Why did you do that?** ”

Helen winced, but didn’t resist the compulsion to answer. “I saved you because this aspect of The Spiral can’t stand Nazis and felt a great degree of pleasure in seeing you smite one, especially knowing how painful it is. Also, you could come in handy in the future. And I messed with the memories because The Spiral much prefers having you be retired from the paranormal to having you mucking around smiting anything that you don’t like. Basically, the general consensus of The Spiral is that you’re most useful to us alive, but dormant.”

“Well, at least you’re honest… could you do me a favor then and take me home?”

“You’d willingly trust me to guide you through my corridors?” Helen asked bemusedly. 

“You just said under compulsion you don’t want me dead. But I’m sure you’re busy, so I can get home the normal way if you’d like.”

“Never too busy to help a friend, Archivist! First door on the right! Just down the hall!” Helen said, opening a yellow door where there had been a blank white wall.

“Thank you Helen. But you and I both know we aren’t friends. You know what you are and so do I.”

“Then I suppose you know the danger in pretending. Oh well. For what it’s worth, I do genuinely enjoy talking to you, Jon!”

“It’s certainly never boring. Farewell, Helen.”

\---

Jon smiled as the Scooby Gang rushed up to him after his first class back.

“What did you do to the shooter?” Trent asked excitedly. “And who was the freaky yellow lady?”

“I smote- smited? No, it’s smote- I smote him. And the ‘freaky yellow lady’ was Helen, she’s an avatar of The Spiral.”

“Since when could you smite people? And how do you know Helen? She wasn’t one of the avatars you mentioned knowing.”

Jon sighed. “I’ll tell you all about it after school. And on the off chance you see a yellow door where there shouldn’t be one, do not go through it.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is a one-shot, but I'm not opposed to adding more, so if you've got any suggestions /prompts/ideas for more shenanigans, comment and I might write them!


End file.
